July 20th

Marshmallows_4500Every day last week I checked at the grocery store after work to see if they had received a shipment of Happy-Dappy Orchard Farms Super Fruit-Cups. The shelf-space that previously held them has been re-purposed. It has been replaced by extremely large bags of ‘Industrial Sized Mega Freedom Marshmallows’. They are big enough that they look like they could be used as a form of bedding.

It had not occurred to me at that point that I should perhaps speak to a retail sales representative. I did. The man I spoke to looked like he hadn’t slept in a long time, and his name-tag said ‘Ian’. I asked Ian when we could expect another quantity of Happy-Dappy Orchard Farms Super Fruit-Cups, as they are the only kind I like and I really like them and I need to have them or it will be really bad and I truly hoped he understood because I really like fruit cups.

He asked me to stop yelling, and I apologized because I didn’t realize I was yelling, even though several people had stopped and were staring. Ian took a few steps back and said he would fetch a manager. I don’t recall anything after that.

Next thing I remember I was in the managers office drinking a glass of water and being asked repeatedly ‘if I was okay’ by an overweight, kind-faced man who said he was the general manager.

I was informed that the Happy-Dappy Orchard Farms Super Fruit-Cups are still in stock and had been relocated to aisle fourteen.

I don’t remember getting home, but I now have thirty-five six-packs of fruit cups which should last for a little while. I purchased all of the ones they had in stock, including the ones they had in stocking room in the back.

I do not like marshmallows.