May 16th

hash_brownToday I bought a coffee from Bangin’ Bagels in a white styrofoam cup. It came with a removable quiz on the side, the question on which was ‘What color is the sky?’ In lieu of the answer option ‘depends’, I chose ‘blue’ and found I had won a number of ‘hash browns’. I do not know what a ‘hash brown’ is, but now I have six of them waiting for me at the nearest Bangin’ Bagels location. I will bring a grocery bag with me in case they are too large to easily carry. I am excited for my prize.

The coupon expires in 2 years time, so I have some time to decide which location I will go to to redeem my prize, but it will most likely be the same one I purchased the coffee from as it is on the way to work.

Bangin’ Bagels coffee is not the same as Bob, my former colleague’s coffee. It tastes like milk mixed with soil and the cup is too big for my hands.

I saw a quote today . It said ‘Dream big dreams. Small dreams have no magic.’

I don’t like any kind of dreams. Small dreams, such as remembering to buy more toilet paper before I run out, make me short of breath. Big dreams, like actually going to that book club I signed up for, or changing my bus route to work, make me want to sit down for an hour and wait until the room stops spinning.

I wonder if my goldfish Kenneth would consider eating a ‘hash brown’ instead of Spam. I’m not sure. Besides, it might not fit in his bowl. I considered searching on the internet for what a ‘hash brown’ actually is, but I have decided to wait and make it a surprise.

February 9th

golf-ballThe tension headache is starting to ease this morning. It now only feels like I have a golf ball lodged between my skull and my brain. I got over ninety minutes of sleep last night, which is an improvement. I still have no idea what is causing the headache. Perhaps it was the coffee. I didn’t think it was that strong.

I noticed that while I was drinking that coffee, I hadn’t once performed a stock check on my office supplies. Notably, my paperclip stock pile is dangerously low. I only have 27 paperclips remaining of the non-stippled design and four of the stippled design. I shall issue a requisition form for more. As discussed earlier, the stippled design holds the pages better, but they also snap easily. I don’t wish to be injured by potentially dangerous paperclip shrapnel.

I had two dreams last night. In one I was drinking a tepid glass of water. That was the whole dream. In the other dream I had no arms or legs and I was forced to bathe by rubbing myself against a sponge glued to the inside of the shower. My dream-shower took a long time and made me late for work. Not real work – dream-work. The dream stopped before I left my house so I don’t know how I was able to function at my job under those circumstances, let alone drink coffee.

Dorothy stopped by the office today. She stood by the door, smiled and waved at me. She had a bow in her hair. I waved back, tried to smile and stopped when she gave me a concerned look. I said nothing. I didn’t know what to say. I felt a burning feeling in my chest and my mind sort of shut down. She said quickly “Okay, well, I’ll come back another time,” and walked away.

My headache returned immediately, maintaining at a golf ball sized pain, which is good.