January 26th

tennis ballI really miss drinking Bob’s coffee.

I have a tension headache that feels like someone has inserted a tennis ball inside my head between my brain and my skull. I have taken twelve pain relievers so far and nothing has helped.

I am having difficulty remembering things. I got on the wrong bus today, twice, and forgot my lunch.

I have no idea what could be causing the headache. Perhaps I have a tumor. My Great Aunt Clementine had a tumor in her elbow. At least she said she did. Every time I asked her, the tumor had changed places. There was always something wrong with Great Aunt Clementine. She lived to be 94 and died in her sleep. When I was ten, my Great Uncle Pete explained to me that Great Aunt Clementine was just fine. However, because she had always snored, as he described, like ‘a mating rhinoceros‘ and kept him awake, he had gotten her back by constantly telling her for 40 years that she was probably ‘coming down with something’ and ‘looked a little off’, so much so, that she believed him and was a hypochondriac.

Great Uncle Pete was not a nice man.

He died of a tumor.

January 6th

h285322I miss Bob since he was fired. We barely ever talked and I don’t remember his last name, but I feel we were close.

The coffee he brought is almost gone. We have a small coffee maker in the office where we all work, and someone had a cup whilst waiting for a new keyboard. When they sipped it, they made a scrunchy face and put it down. I guess I’ve developed a taste for it.

I feel very relaxed today. I decided to enroll in a book club around the corner from where I live. I haven’t read a book since ‘The Rise of Domestic Lawn Care Equipment in 1937,’ which although interesting, is very heavy and hurts my legs when I read it.

A person in our office needed a new keyboard because she had used it to prop a door open. It succeeded in this task, but is now no longer functional as a keyboard, having lost most of the keys. I asked her what she had been using in the interim to work. She replied, “Nothing, really.” She’s been without a keyboard for six weeks.

Nobody appears to have questioned this.