February 9th

golf-ballThe tension headache is starting to ease this morning. It now only feels like I have a golf ball lodged between my skull and my brain. I got over ninety minutes of sleep last night, which is an improvement. I still have no idea what is causing the headache. Perhaps it was the coffee. I didn’t think it was that strong.

I noticed that while I was drinking that coffee, I hadn’t once performed a stock check on my office supplies. Notably, my paperclip stock pile is dangerously low. I only have 27 paperclips remaining of the non-stippled design and four of the stippled design. I shall issue a requisition form for more. As discussed earlier, the stippled design holds the pages better, but they also snap easily. I don’t wish to be injured by potentially dangerous paperclip shrapnel.

I had two dreams last night. In one I was drinking a tepid glass of water. That was the whole dream. In the other dream I had no arms or legs and I was forced to bathe by rubbing myself against a sponge glued to the inside of the shower. My dream-shower took a long time and made me late for work. Not real work – dream-work. The dream stopped before I left my house so I don’t know how I was able to function at my job under those circumstances, let alone drink coffee.

Dorothy stopped by the office today. She stood by the door, smiled and waved at me. She had a bow in her hair. I waved back, tried to smile and stopped when she gave me a concerned look. I said nothing. I didn’t know what to say. I felt a burning feeling in my chest and my mind sort of shut down. She said quickly “Okay, well, I’ll come back another time,” and walked away.

My headache returned immediately, maintaining at a golf ball sized pain, which is good.

March 11th

Kenneth has stopped eating. I dropped food flakes in his bowl last night, and he sort of looked at them and swam away. I’m not sure why this is. I admit, the food does not look appetizing, but this is what the book says he should eat. He did the same thing this morning. Perhaps he is depressed. I will buy him an ornament.

My oatmeal wasn’t right again this morning. If I leave it in the microwave too long, it takes on the consistency of concrete, and is really difficult to scrub it out of the cup I make it in. Too little time and it looks like milk with bits in. It’s a nice cup though, with a lid. I use it to make beans and oatmeal and chili. Not together.

I need to buy more toilet roll. I don’t know how I get through it so quickly, I only bought some two days ago, a six-pack.

Today I saw a dead bird, on my lunch break. It was lying by a big window on a street corner, with brown feathers and blood coming out of its mouth, staining the sidewalk. I considered moving it, but so many people were walking past, I didn’t want to get in the way. While I watched someone kicked it by accident.

I think it may have flown into a window and broken its neck.

After that I saw a billboard with a green logo that said: “Get more LAUGHS out of LIFE with the COMEDY CHANNEL!” After I saw the billboard I had to sit down for a while. There was eight exclamation marks after it. I have included only one exclamation mark here, as I got a headache when I saw the billboard and I don’t want to get another one now I’m writing about it.