January 6th

h285322I miss Bob since he was fired. We barely ever talked and I don’t remember his last name, but I feel we were close.

The coffee he brought is almost gone. We have a small coffee maker in the office where we all work, and someone had a cup whilst waiting for a new keyboard. When they sipped it, they made a scrunchy face and put it down. I guess I’ve developed a taste for it.

I feel very relaxed today. I decided to enroll in a book club around the corner from where I live. I haven’t read a book since ‘The Rise of Domestic Lawn Care Equipment in 1937,’ which although interesting, is very heavy and hurts my legs when I read it.

A person in our office needed a new keyboard because she had used it to prop a door open. It succeeded in this task, but is now no longer functional as a keyboard, having lost most of the keys. I asked her what she had been using in the interim to work. She replied, “Nothing, really.” She’s been without a keyboard for six weeks.

Nobody appears to have questioned this.

February 24th

I have a day off tomorrow. I had planned it in order to get my drivers license changed over to reflect my new address. Last time I went during my lunch hour and queued for fifty minutes. Once I got to the front desk, they told me the laminating machine had just broken down, and would I come back the next day. I did, but the queue was fifty five minutes long and I had to go back to work before it was my turn.

My co-worker Gerald has told me I should go to a museum on my day off. I don’t know. I’m not good in crowds and I have a fear of buildings with high ceilings, and it makes me want to urinate, for some reason. I do not know if there is a name for this type of phobia.

I have not had good experiences in museums, unless they are small, like the Lawnmower museum, which is the only one I can go to because it has low, safe ceilings. I bought a book in the gift shop, entitled: The Rise of Domestic Lawn Care Equipment in 1937. I am very well acquainted with the exhibits as I have been several times.

In order to save money, I have been bringing food into work, and so items that I put in the fridge have become increasingly numerous and diverse. I decided to remove the melon-baller as I probably won’t need that again, but I have decided to leave the rosemary seasoning.

Today I made toasted ham sandwiches. I put a little too much seasoning on it I think. Dorothy sat on the table next to mine. She never takes her lunch this late. I wonder if this is a new thing. I looked at her but she didn’t see me. She was reading a book called ‘They Call It Puppy Love’. After checking Rainforest.com, I have discovered, with some relief, that Dorothy does not like reading books on bestiality. I wanted to be sure as not to leap to the wrong conclusions. I do not think I could have a relationship with someone who thinks it’s okay to have sex with a dog.

Or a gerbil.