April 12th

magnetic numbersThe defective water cooler in the office was removed and has not been replaced. Perhaps I submitted the incorrect form.

I drank a glass of water from the faucet. It still tastes a lot like a swimming pool. Barbara, my former colleague, saw me in the kitchen and angrily said “I hope you’re happy now,” before walking away. I’m not sure what she was referring to. I considered if I was happy or not.

When I got home after work I wrote up a list of things that make me happy as I felt I should be able to answer this question in case Barbara suggests it again. I put a lot of thought into the list. It took me until 2 o’clock in the morning to complete.

My list has three items on it. They are as follows:

1) Fruit cups.

2) Fridge magnets. They are extremely useful in keeping important information secured where I will most likely see it, like my home phone number. I have a collection of four fridge magnets in a variety of designs; a purple fish with googly eyes, a palm tree with the words ‘FLORDIA’ written on it (I believe this to be a misspelling), one in the shape of the number ‘4’, and one with a white background and the words ‘FRIDGE MAGNET’ written on it. The last one is my favorite as it will be useful if I develop dementia.

3) The letter E. I feel it is important to like things that are popular and it is the most popular letter in the English alphabet.

When I was young I used to like swimming pools. On one visit I lost my braces. Later on, something got jammed into a water intake, making it clog and causing the pump to overheat and inexplicably set on fire. The swimming pool had to be evacuated for safety reasons.

The cause of the fire was later found to have been my braces. I was asked not to come back.

15th March

Kenneth still isn’t eating. He just sits on the bottom of the tank. All the food flakes just drift to the bottom of the bowl and he doesn’t touch them. I’m really worried about him. The book says he might have ‘ick’, ‘a fungal infection, needing medical treatments from your vet.’ I don’t know why they called it ‘ick’, but apparently it’s easy to treat.

There is going to be a seminar on personal finances at work. I think I’ll try to go. You can take your own lunch in, which is nice. I need to learn more about personal finances because of the warning I had received from the Collective Gas company that had threatened to switch off the gas if I didn’t pay $874.67 in the next ten days. This was caused by an error in the account number, meaning that for eight months I had been paying my money into someone else’s account. I had not detected this error because in order to be environmentally friendly, I had opted for paperless billing, but unfortunately, it had been sending the bills to the wrong email address. I called the company, and a rather unfriendly lady told me I had to file a complaint in writing, using form B1498-4. She said she had emailed the form to me using the address they had on file. I tried to explain that the email address on file was incorrect. She said I wouldn’t be able to change the email address without first confirming my identity. I would be able to do that by clicking on the verification link within the email. I explained this would remain a problem as the wrong email address was on file. I was then informed that due to this problem being beyond the expertise that she was able offer, that I was going to be referred to their ‘Customer Pro’ team, would I mind holding. I said no, and I listened to hold music, whilst being reminded every thirty seconds that my call was important to them, that I mattered as a human being, and that one of their representatives would be with me shortly. After thirty-five minutes, the call disconnected. I tried calling back but there was an announcement telling me that business hours were between 9-5 Mondays through Fridays, and I should call again soon. I checked my watch, and it said it was 4:45pm.

It also told me that in the event of a suspected gas leak, I should call the following number. I put my head inside the oven and smelled. There does not appear to be any leak. It does need cleaning however.

I will use my savings to pay the gas bill. This means I will have to severely curtail the purchasing of luxury items, such as teabags, toothpaste and that fridge magnet I had seen in a thrift store last Tuesday.