March 21st

It is very cold in my apartment. Fourteen weeks ago I called to get the boiler in the basement looked at as it stopped producing heat and makes a strange gurgling noise whenever it turns on. I asked the landlady to fix it some weeks ago but when I knocked on the door, she opened it, made an angry face, and yelled “You’ll never take me to that [expletive] nursing home!” and slammed the door.

I tried knocking again, but she didn’t open the door. I attempted to talk through the keyhole to tell her the heat in the building was broken, but she said that it was fine and to stop complaining and also asked what year it was.

She is very old and swears a lot during her bridge games when her friends come over.

I noticed when she opened her door that her house was quite warm given the amount of hot air that came out. This is confusing as the boiler for the whole building is broken, as I mentioned. There is a clause in the lease that says that tenants would be liable for eviction if they used space heaters, so I have not purchased one to mitigate the reduced temperatures. There was also a clause in the lease that very specifically stipulates that all windows facing east have to be closed on Thursdays to ‘stop Satan getting in’. I believe my landlady wrote the lease herself as it is hand-written in blue pen, is mostly in capital letters, and smells faintly of cat pee.

Yesterday I received a check in the mail from the Department of Employment. This might be related to the lady who called a couple of weeks ago to tell me I would get free money for being unemployed, which is clearly not true. I wrote a check back to the Department for the amount and I have received and I will mail it later. There has clearly been a mistake as tasks usually have to be performed to receive money and I have not performed any tasks for the local government. Other than some years ago when I removed several needles and sanitary pads that were blocking the sink drain in a men’s public bathroom, but I’m not sure how they would know it was me.

I might call the plumber back as he has not returned my calls and I’m noticing the refrigerator is slightly warmer than the kitchen. I have wrapped myself in three or four blankets but it makes it difficult to go to the bathroom and clean the dishes and sleep.

I wonder if setting the kitchen table on fire qualifies as a ‘space’ heater.

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