May 13th

I still appear to have a severe cold. I checked a news website for the first time in ten months and apparently there is a global pandemic. I am not sure how I was not aware of this. I don’t know if my illness is the same one causing the pandemic, but I do match a lot of the symptoms listed.

I now have to stay six feet from anyone I meet. I am confident I will be able to comply with this request.

After trying to use the food ordering service ‘Crudfuds’ I have decided to see what other services are available, given that I require groceries, and also because any kind of movement makes me feel like a rhinoceros is leaning on my chest. I found a service that delivers groceries to my house named ‘Munch-A-Bunch’. Apparently you pay someone else to go to a grocery store for you and buy things on your behalf. The idea of paying someone to collect my groceries is appealing. Supermarkets make me nervous since the time I thought the store located near me no longer stocked ‘Happy-Dappy Orchard Farms Super Fruit-Cups’ and I don’t remember very much of what happened afterwards but I was I told later that I had been very annoyed at the manager, several customers and a store clerk and anyway they had actually just relocated the fruit-cups to another aisle so it was all okay and everything is completely fine now.

I placed an order for twenty-five boxes of Happy-Dappy Orchard Farms Super Fruit-Cups, eight cans of Crambells Mushroom Soup, one carton of milk, one box of ‘Crazy Joe’s Industrial Sized Teabags’, fifty cheese-sticks, and one small onion. Before today I had never heard of cheese-sticks before. According to the packaging, they are made of cheese, but shaped like a stick. They are also individually wrapped. I do not know why they are shaped like a stick, but perhaps it is to make very thin sandwiches. I am looking forward to sampling one.

Due to my potential demise because of the pandemic, I also decided to write a will. I stared at the notepad for three hours but I’m not sure what to write. I’m sure I will have some ideas soon.

I sat in the window of my living room again today. The young man in the hooded sweatshirt who I saw the other day ran up to my trashcan and spray-painted another rude word on it. I might have to talk to him and ask him to stop because people might think I am responsible for spray-painting expletives on my own trashcan.

The old man I saw in the apartment on the other side of the street waved again. I’m not sure who he was waving at because I have not waved at him at all, so I ignored it and removed a considerable amount of old paint from the windowsill with my fingernail.